Blogster Proclaims Verdict: Sail! That's an Order

In the interest of time, Judge Herman J. Cahn, let’s just declare the Golden Gate Yacht Club’s challenging certificate under the Deed of Gift for the next America’s Cup - - or for a regatta they’ve invented between just them and the Defender (for who knows what reason) - - as NULL and VOID and USELESS as one of Marilyn Monroe’s bra’s.

Let’s look at the facts, as clearly outlined by Barry R. Ostrager of the esteemed New York law firm of Simpson Thacher & Bartlett LLC.

The Golden Gate Yacht Club’s Challenge includes a flub, a typo, something a law clerk might include who knows nothing of sailing. They accidentally include the word "keel" yacht when they really meant "keel-less" yacht, as in high-speed and high-end and highly expensive catamaran they think they might beat the Cup Defender in.

Next, the Golden Gate Yacht Club has decided, on its own and for NO REASON except its own embarrassing FEAR, to rule out a standard America’s Cup Challenger Elimination Series in favor of a one-on-one sail-off between just two yachts: The Defender (two-time winner Alinghi et all) and (surprise) THEMSELVES (winner of NO America’s Cup). Now, how they came to this conclusion, that they DESERVE to be included in such a regatta, is a total mystery. They were not just eliminated, EARLY ON, in the last America’s Cup Challenger elimination series (AC32 in July last year), they were soundly stomped out, and this was BEFORE even getting to the point to racing against the Alinghi rock stars.

So, look here, judge. What you have is a clear case of one of the losers trying valiantly to “triangulate and reshape” (a trendy phrase used in politics a lot, as in “I knew John F. Kennedy and you’re no John F. Kennedy.”). They clearly intend to truncate the entire America’s Cup debate, and actual on-water (as opposed to in-court) racing, so it all comes down to a GRUDGE MATCH between Titan One, Ernesto Bertarelli (Alinghi) and Titan Two, Larry Ellison (BMW/Oracle - - or maybe just Oracle at this point, since advertisers are running for the exits, but Larry still runs Oracle, so they can’t pull out, unless stockholders revolt.).

A big footnote: This race is NOT supposed to be a grudge match between two teams representing two countries. It’s supposed to be a global regatta open to several teams from several countries, pure and simple, with a run-off between the challenging teams, before tackling the Defender. Not brain surgery, in fact, it’s a system that has worked well since the middle of the 19th century.

Let’s toss this “Golden G.” Certificate, give the Defender the right to properly host a regatta, which it has been trying to do since JULY LAST YEAR, and get this show on the road before there is no more show to be shown, and no spectators to spill beer on the program.

If the Defending “rules” see a bit one-sided or too avant-guard to satisfy everyone, too bad. Win it back and you can set your own agenda. That’s the way this game is played. The winner stacks the deck and works at stomping the competition. The competition design boats that can beat the Defender, and practices and practices until they sail flawlessly to win it away.

Let’s not further complicate the sport by getting into a pissing contest of defining when “is” means “is,” in the unforgotten words of a past U.S. President (whose wife is currently running after his job). Fire the lawyers and dust off the marina slips. We’re going a-sailing once again.